Going Gently

How do you measure fanaticism?
How do you decide who is and isn't a fan of something?

Questions like that do occasionally come up. Most recently, for me at least, it was in a conversation about girl gamers and gamers who coincidentally happened to be girls. Irregardless of what makes a gamer a gamer, or a fan a fan... there'll always be those who judge you from the lofty heights of batshit insanity.


So let's try establish some credentials.
Was I in the CoH Beta? No... but I joined the game rather soon after launch. I only played one sub game at a time and it took me a while to gird myself for flashy comic book universe.

That aside, I have been playing City of Heroes for a long time. It went free to play and I kept my subscription so it follows that I have also been paying for City of Heroes for a long time.

I have spent in the store, I bought booster packs before free to play, I have every edition worth mentioning. I have the books and I have the comics. Without further belabouring the point, I am invested.

Those credentials established, I do consider myself a fan of City of Heroes but now I can't take it any more. Today is the final day in Paragon. Midnight pacific time, the servers go down and my heroes, villains and all in between will no longer be. They have been recorded to the best of my ability and the stories that I write myself will go on, but ultimately seeing out the server closure tonight on Ardua will be the last time that I will be Ardua.

I plan to see it out with a smile. Maybe some tears. Certainly memories and tales and more. I've given good time and good money to that game because that game gave back to me worth and fun and joy and friends.
What I will not do is see it out in rage and bile. The "true" fans of City of Heroes are still trying to save City of Heroes. They spout grand claims of pitching the game to Disney and how that will magically resurrect Paragon Studios, despite people having jobs and commitments now. How an adored and beloved but still eight year old game will magically form a pillar on Disney Interactive (or whomever is next on their pitch hit list) with a huge fan base.... which has either said its goodbyes or never invested the same emotion.

Was the campaign noble and worthy? Oh yes. Yes it was. It was worth the attempt, it was as was claimed, something heroes do. The campaign tried and it's time people accepted it failed. Tonight, barring a miracle of e-biblical proportions, the City of Heroes dies.

Should it die, as it was born, in the fire of a Rikti onslaught? I will follow through on the title of this post. I will not go gently into the good night. I will get full on Independence Day on them. I will fight because that is what you do with an invading horde.

When it is done, when the lights go out and the switch is flipped... I will miss it dearly.

What I won't do is deny that tonight that is going to happen. I won't pollute the last few hours with a game I adore by seething and complaining. Log in and take what joy you can in the last hours. See the sights one last time. Fight the good fight or plot a good heist. Either way, do with a game what you are meant to. Play. Have fun.

All good things come to an end, and City of Heroes is a very very good thing.